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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 17.06.2025 01:04

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

I have a bad reputation and need help. What should I do?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

I'm looking for an answer from people who consider themselves "Gender Critical", or transphobic, or TERFs, and my question is this - Why would you refuse to use the pronouns someone wants? What does it cost you? Where's the harm?

By taking turns talking.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”